Thursday, December 22, 2011

Instant Gratification

I like instant gratification. I am hungry, I want to eat right now. I tell my children to do something, I want instant obedience with a smile. I don't like waiting, but I am learning. God is teaching me and I am so happy.

Today I had an A-ha! moment. It went like this....

DD8 is asking me for her $6.00 that she earned from doing jobs around the house that I haven't paid her yet. She is complaining and whining that she doesn't have any money now because I "took" all her money. The money she had squirreled away (her own words) for so long.

Praying and asking the Lord to help me keep my cool (yes, it takes very little to tick me off!) and to give me wisdom on how to talk to her calmly and gently,  I ask her why did I "take" her money away. So she mumbles "because I damaged my bed." My artistic spirited child decided to use her bunk bed for wood carving. We were in there one day (she sleeps on the top bunk) and I was getting her things off her bed when I saw it. The interior of the rails of her bed were all carved. Like she had a pocket knife or something really sharp, she produced artistic cuts after artistic gaps. I was appalled to say the least. I had a fit!! yeah, I had a fit! And no, she didn't use a pocket knife. She used a plastic ruler.

I told her that I would not allow her to damage her bed. That it cost money and we are supposed to be good stewards of what we have and use. So after deciding NOT to spank her and give her another more appropriate lesson, one that she would remember, I asked her how much money did she have and asked her for all of it to pay for the damage. (It wasn't enough to pay for the bed, but it was enough to make a point.)

It's not the first time that she damages furniture or other things just for the fun of it. And yes, I understand curiosity and experimenting but she is 8 years old, I expect that she works those things out in her head first before attempting something that can surely be destructive.

So anyway... back to the kitchen. I told her I would give her her $6.00 and then she asked if she could do more jobs and get paid. I said "Certainly." But instead of having her follow me around the house asking for the money and adding the cents and dimes, I suggested she make a list of all the things she did and then at the end of the day we could look over the list and I would pay her some money for it.

She had a fit (yes, just like her Momma!! that is why her Momma is trying to do things differently, because I don't want my child having a fit. It's pretty ugly!). She saw a spelling lesson in the suggestion and began complaining about me not helping her, and she couldn't spell, that I would make her sound it out and blah blah blah. Instead of losing it, I asked her politely if we could continue this later. I was busy cooking and doing some food preparations in the kitchen and I have come to realize that in order to not lose my temper with my child I need 100% focus on our exchanges.

Of course, she was upset and insisted. But I remained calm and she complied. So she sat down on the floor and after 5 minutes, apologized and asked if we could try it now. I said "no", that I would call her when I was ready that right that minute I was busy and I couldn't proceed with her request. And then the A-ha moment came!

I saw myself as an adult using something my parents taught me when I was a child. That wisdom or information my parents had imparted to me as a child was precious and in full bloom in my life as an adult. It was like a balm of revelation. The Lord saying: "What you are teaching her is not for right now, it is for later. You plant now and the harvest comes later. You are planting the seeds of Godly character and wisdom so that she can become a Godly woman."

I understood that many times I get angry and upset with my children because I want to see the harvest right now. I saw a farmer in my mind screaming at a seed he had just shoved in the ground. Hollering at the seed because there was no fruit. Oh, my!!! I finally understood.

I am so amazed at the things the Lord Jesus will show me when I talk to Him and ask Him for wisdom. I am gaining victory. I know all things are possible. The Lord has given me a word of lately: PERSEVERANCE. And that verse that talks about what He has begun He will complete is making me REST in Him. So when I persevere is NOT DOING something, but BELIEVING and TRUSTING Him.

Praised be the Lord Jesus!! Merry Christmas!!

Oh, and the picture at the beginning of the post?? is of an amazing cranberry walnut cake. You can find the recipe HERE.

And my DD8 is a sweet child!! She is always quick to forgive and always ready to embrace and love on me. I am so blessed and undeserving of her or the Lord's love. Thank you Jesus!!


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